i will remember

these last few months, weeks and days have been incredibly freeing for me. each day that goes by another piece of me that has been lost finds its way back.  all of this change has taught me to stop and embrace the here and now.

to enjoy where my family is right now. to remember what stage my girls are at today.

i will remember that my oldest asks a million questions each day, and only stops talking to eat and sleep.  how she loves singing and pretending - she has the most amazing imagination and is a born performer. how she is full of empathy and is very polite. i will remember how right now she is is a few steps away from being a truly "big girl", i see flashes of it in her everyday.  but right now, she still asks for cuddles and to hold my hand.  i will remember how she often crawls into bed between me and Ben because she says "i want you". most of the time we let her stay, because soon it will start happening less frequent and then not at all.

"so wear a happy smile and life will be worthwhile
forget the tears but don't forget to smile"

i will remember my sweet baby  is so happy. how she is almost always smiling. i will remember  how she runs her fingers through my hair to comfort herself, and that she has done this pretty much since birth. how she just started talking, and loves to repeat her favorite words over and over again. i will remember how much she adores her big sister and wants to do everything she does. i will remember that when she sits she always crosses her feet. and when she hears music her whole body moves instantly.

i will enjoy them, as they are, right now. and i will let them be themselves and start to create a space that allows them to find out who they are, what their interests are, and give them the knowledge to learn.  we will celebrate the stages our family is at today, because tomorrow it will be different.