april twenty-eighth

april twenty-seventh

 

april twenty-sixth

the evolution of an artist

this year has been about change.  it seems every aspect within my life has been going through change. and most of this change is good.

one thing that doesn't change is i am a creative being. dare i say an artist. 

thinking back i guess in some way i have always had a heart and soul of an artist. although that label hasn't always been easy to apply.

 (circa 2000ish)

my love of art and drawing came very young in the form of drawing and sketching. it carried me through until my love evolved into photography.  i knew right away it was going to take over my life. and it did.

but somewhere between there and here, that love got lost a bit.

when i think about last year... i was so frantic. i was just launching my business. taking workshops. building my brand. designing my blog and website. shooting a lot (read: too much) in between it all. having images that were good but that didn't make my heart sing. and then the burn out came.

now back to this year and the changes. i have limited my sessions. i have put more importance on my children and husband. and i have been concentrating on what makes me an artist. i have been doing a lot more shooting for me. i have been documenting my life more.

because of stepping back, the way i approach photgraphy has changed drastically and my style has transformed into something that makes my heart race and fill with joy.  the images below are from my first "one morning" project.  i can't describe what the day did for me, but i know that documenting has become apart of me. and within it has allowed me to really become an artist i can be proud of.

change is inevitable.  it is always happening. at times you need to take charge and direct that change so the outcome is positive. and other times all it takes is stepping back, allowing it to happen. either way you need to trust the process and the path of change.

april twenty-fifth

april twenty-fourth

 

the good & the bad

i have always been a strong belief that everything happens for a reason. the amazing things. the challenging. and even the heartbreaking.  it may take weeks, months or even days to realize what the good is that comes from that bay. but my belief is the only thing that has gotten me out of my dark and hard days that seem to plague me a few years ago.  and maybe at the same time my belief makes the wonderful moments in life so much more meaningful.

i know for sure that who i am is because of all the things that i have experienced.  it is all the good and the bad that have happened in my life that shaped who i am.

all my dark days.  all the pain and hurt.  the days where everything felt hopeless.  when i couldn't and didn't get out of bed.  and my actions only made things worse and me just numb. it took a while for me to heal and some days i am still unsure i am completely.  but by feeling that dark and low has now allowed me to really enjoy the brightness of my life now and reminds me always to be present in them. and most importantly to cherish my little family, because i know too well how our tomorrow is unknown.

my experiences they have made me strong and shaped me into women i am today and i truly believe they have all happened for a reason.  i know that it isn't the bad or the good that define me, but rather all of them together, all of my experiences, that makes up my story.

"the past is our definition. we may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it."

april twenty-second

april twenty-first

april twentieth

april nineteenth

 

april eighteenth

diet . food . gluten

for the past 3 weeks i have been documenting my journey on the seventeen day diet through instagram on my iphone.  this diet has been fairly easy for me to follow.  i enjoy all that i am able to eat and i am always satisfied after a meal.  i can proudly say by half way through cycle one i had fit back into my "skinny" jeans (read: pre Brie jeans).  and today on d3c2, i am noticing how flat my tummy is becoming, how smaller my thighs look, how much better i feel, and how much energy i have. these are great things that keep me motivated to keep going.  i would love to tell you that i have lost xx amount of weight, however, i am a scale-free home.

i can't lie to you all... there have been moments where i have given in and cheated.  i have had a glass of wine on occasion. i snuck a small piece of dark chocolate one day last week.  i broke down and ordered a latte at starbucks.  i have even had a few bites of bread here and there.

because of my "cheating" i noticed that each time i consume bread i was almost instantly in pain, felt bloated and just very gross and sick.  after testing this a few times over the last 2 weeks (this is why i said a few bites here and there) i have pretty much concluded i must have a sensitivity to gluten.  i have dealt with stomach issues for over ten years, could all of this time i have had an intolerance to gluten?! hmmm.

so here i am, about to change my life again and start living a gluten free life, as well i am committed to the 17 day diet as a way of life as well.

while i still need to finish cycle two before i start adding grains back into my diet, i have been introduced to some wonderful websites for gluten-free cooking & baking.... gluten-free girl and the chef  and  gluten-free goddess.

and you see our journey's always take a new direction when we least expect it.

april seventeenth

april fifteenth

april fourteenth

coffee . tiger . nail polish

 today i am thankful for...

1.  a surprise coffee delivery from my thoughtful and handsome husband.

2.  the imagination of my three & half year old, who wanted to be a tiger today.

3.  doing something, however very small, that was just for me.

it is the simple things.

april thirteenth

 

april twelfth

inspired by a site i first saw about a month ago that captures a moment from each day of the life of lila. i love the simplicity of it and how it tells her story in the details of regular daily moments. i am going to attempt to do the same. wish me luck.

our home

some days i look around my home and notice all of the things that need to be done around here and think of the endless to-do list we have going. and i wish we had more money and time.

other days i look around and notice the laundry that is piled up, toys scattered everywhere and a floor that is in need of a good mopping.  and i wish i had more energy and time.

but there are the days where i notice more then anything how my house is a home.  our home, which is full if excitement and laughter.  full of learning and growing.  a home that is overflowing with love.  and i wish nothing about this would ever change.

"love begins at home, and it is not how much we do…
but how much love we put in that action" 

mother teresa

a thoughtful friday

{a few pictures from this morning from their life}

some random thoughts on this sunny friday morning...

1.  having two nights in a row of Brie sleeping through the night is the most precious gift. i hope this is a sign of change.

2.  i finally found the energy to tackle the 4 laundry baskets that have been sitting in my bedroom since tuesday. yes i despise laundry.

3.  i am on day 11 of the 17 day diet, cycle one. i am really enjoying it and find it very easy to follow. so far i am not sure on weight loss, as i am a scale free home, but i do notice big changes happening. i feel great, more energy, no stomach problems, no bloating feeling after eating, and yes my clothes are looser. ya! weekends are hard though, send me strength.

a learning home

i have a new blog to add to the family... to document our home learning journey.  i could blog about this new adventure here, but i want to have this remain strictly my place to share my thoughts.  so if you want to follow us as we take the plunge into homeschooling we would be happy to have you along for the ride!

a learning home

i will remember

these last few months, weeks and days have been incredibly freeing for me. each day that goes by another piece of me that has been lost finds its way back.  all of this change has taught me to stop and embrace the here and now.

to enjoy where my family is right now. to remember what stage my girls are at today.

i will remember that my oldest asks a million questions each day, and only stops talking to eat and sleep.  how she loves singing and pretending - she has the most amazing imagination and is a born performer. how she is full of empathy and is very polite. i will remember how right now she is is a few steps away from being a truly "big girl", i see flashes of it in her everyday.  but right now, she still asks for cuddles and to hold my hand.  i will remember how she often crawls into bed between me and Ben because she says "i want you". most of the time we let her stay, because soon it will start happening less frequent and then not at all.

"so wear a happy smile and life will be worthwhile
forget the tears but don't forget to smile"

i will remember my sweet baby  is so happy. how she is almost always smiling. i will remember  how she runs her fingers through my hair to comfort herself, and that she has done this pretty much since birth. how she just started talking, and loves to repeat her favorite words over and over again. i will remember how much she adores her big sister and wants to do everything she does. i will remember that when she sits she always crosses her feet. and when she hears music her whole body moves instantly.

i will enjoy them, as they are, right now. and i will let them be themselves and start to create a space that allows them to find out who they are, what their interests are, and give them the knowledge to learn.  we will celebrate the stages our family is at today, because tomorrow it will be different.

unconventional

we do not change as we grow older,
we just become more clearly ourselves
 {lynn hall}


it takes courage to be yourself and be true to you. i feel like i am just settling in on who i am. and what i want from my life. i can say that i am unconventional and slightly radical when it comes to a lot of issues. my beliefs are rarely main stream and i have been known to call myself an urban hippie. i question everything so i can make an informed decision.

allowing myself to be true to my feelings and ideas is just one step closer to more peace within me.

mommy & me time